So on new years I slipped and fell on the ice and banged my head pretty bad. Been having strange dreams.
First dream there was a flock of wood peckers attacking me from every direction. I was breaking off their beaks as they came at me to kill them. Second dream there were a flock of owls who were after me. Very strange since owls don't fly in groups. I ran to my old apartment in Taipei, the place where I grew up. And I locked all the balcony doors. I stared at them through the beige cream bars. They were perched on the balcony next to mine staring back. Third dream I'm at CQG in the corner office conference room on the SW side. However instead of being on the 22nd flloor, we're on the 2nd floor. This gigantic rabid looking wolf dog is prowling outside looking for me. I can see his eyes looking at me through the big windows. And I mean this thing is huge, like 15 feet tall, larger than life. He crashes through the windows, and I start running for my life. I'm running through the maze of cubicles and alarms are going off. People are panicking everywhere. I'm terrified. I wake up.
Now last night was a warped dream too. I can't remember all the details. Something about either my grandfather or Nami's grandfather dying. (Hmm I wonder if someone is getting married soon that I know.) And I'm also sitting at a dinner table with Kendra, this person from work I know. The dream keeps going back and forth between this dinner scene and me being harried and emotional about this grandfather who has just died. (Maybe Kendra's getting married?) Anyhoo def weird.
We have the largest kitchen in the universe. Like just the refridgerator spans one whole wall; it's made of steel and has 4 seprate doors. The cooks have been baking up a storm of delights from custard pie to cookies. I head out of the kitchen after the smell of sWEETNESS starts to make me nauseas. [Interesting! Smell in dreams!]
Everyone in the house is a stranger to me. There's an older, smart looking women and this loud boisterous man who laughs heartily about this or that, pretty much anything. He is obsessed with the cookies. He's a connoisseur of them, and is very overweight because of his indulgence. Next thing I know, the man faints and falls to the floor. It appears that he's having a heart attack!
The woman and I try to lift him, and he is so heavy. Panting and wheezing, we get him down 4 flights of stairs of the big house, and into a wheel chair. And now were racing outside in these rolling hills that remind me of the scene from the Sound of Music. Running to the nearest hospital, I am pushing the man in the wheel chair, which is rickety and making noises like a grocery store shopping cart. Something happens to the woman on the way there. I don't know what, but I was running ahead and suddenly I hear a sound like "THOCK!" and catch a glimpse of her falling backwards to the ground. I stay focused and keep moving, I must get this man to a hospital!
It's the next morning now, and now the man and I are sitting in a doctors office. The man looks well. But the weird thing is, the doctor tells us that he'll need a new heart, and they had to take his out and throw it away. (Alright I know I'm dreaming. How can a man with no heart be sitting lucidly in the room with me?) So how much will a new heart cost and where can we get one, the man asks the doctor. He tells us that they sell hearts for about $5.00 at the market right outside the hospital. I imagine hearts on racks akin to a meat market setting. Five dollars??? So we get him a new heart and the doctor tells him to stop eating sweets!
Now we're back at the house a couple days later. We are throwing away the massive amount of sweets and food from the kitchen. The man is wild, he runs after the trash, and starts devouring more cookies! dream ends...
I have weird dreams... where does this stuff come from? In no part of this dream am I in the dream, and the entire time I was also well aware that I was dreaming. I could feel into the characters in the dream, I could hear/see the internal thoughts behind their expressions. It's like movie night, every night when I go to bed.
I witnessed a long, intense prison takeover. Every second was filled with tension, and around every corner there was fear. I don't know how it all started. I see a massive man beating another to a bloody pulp. The whole place is made of concrete. For the most part, the chalky grey concrete dominated every scene. People were also covered with this greyness, it looked like volcano ash. There has been some security breach, and all the prisoners are roaming free. Some of the prison guards have been rounded into one place in the mess hall. Everything has been destroyed. The benches and tables are splintered pieces, and even pots and pans have dents in them. One of the prisoners is picking off the hostages one by one, slowly, methodically, mechanically. He waits between each bullet, swinging a pistol side to side, he closes his eyes, as if in deep contemplation, soaking in their cries and screams of pain. The others can do nothing but watch, they are frozen in place, they know they can be next at any time. Some are leaning against the wall huddled, heads down. One young man is shaking, crying, and praying. I hear a sound akin to that of machine gun rounds being fired off outside. This sound is repeated sporadically. It is very loud and extended. At least it drowns out those crying for help, and the sound of those being beaten. Some of the prisoners are fighting each other too in other parts of the prison.
... I'm so icked about by this dream. No more.
just awoke.. this dream is fresh,
Linear and non-linear dynamics of contributions can be enabled with the combo of blogs/rss and wikis. depth AND span for either the collective or the individual. Movement comes through a combination of two bell curve-like axis, that intersect to form not only quarants, but focused intense depth in the center, and less depth as it spans out.
I am in a meeting for ops. It is total chaos.. everyone is having their own conversations. Eric interrupts the flow to tell Meagen a joke. I try to pull the group back together, but no one is paying attention, until I start yelling. Ops should be taken with more seriousness, how are we going to get anything done? I am craving sugar cane juice. I get coconut juice instead. It tastes like the milk of coconut from China. Eric says no drinking during the meetings either. I find that to be a tad ridiculous and walk out in a huff. Rollie follows me out, trying to quell my anger.
My focus shifts, I am intent on burning myself. I must light a fire to my entire body and let it burn. I am two but not two, and there is my body and the doer. I lay myself down on the floor on some towels. And I cut my legs off, right above the knees. Thankfully I cannot see my face through out the dream. I feel detached in my actions, cool, calm collected, there is no hesitation, no thought, no sense of it being anything other than routine or usual practice.
My cut off self is completely nude on the floor, and other than my body, the room is empty. The windows are 16th century Indian like, with holes in white painted cement. I look at my body in a way that is novel to me, admiring the shape of the breasts and the curve of my sides. I light the body on fire, and the skin and flesh catch. The sound of burning flesh is loud, and the smell is worse. I try to open the windows as much as I can. The thighs of the body start to tremble, and I move to realign them. Pink and clear fluids ooze out from the areas where I cut the body, and I clean it up as the body is burning. I throw the fluid soaked tissues out the window, in a neighbor's yard. I watch the body burning, it is taking some time. I am meticulous about the ritual of my self immolation. I am thinking, where will I put my own ashes?
Before I awake, my intense watching of my own body burning is interrupted by a neighbor outside who reprimands me for throwing trash, namely my own fluid soaked tissues, out the window. I peek through the holes to see who it is, and realize I am in India in Khar.
I can't remember the order of things...
We're at the dreams office, and I am saying how powerful the Undergrad Council could be if someone took it on because you go to all Board of Trustee meetings, and you are one of only two students who are allowed. Next thing I know I am at a board meeting, and there are two others with me, we have one corner of the table, where we are eating lunch. We are dancing around a discussion on levels using Spiral Dynamics, providing signifiers to some of the trustee members for the experiences they are recounting. Dr. Jackson and Cynthia McIntyre are sitting to my left. I suddenly think of Mark Palmer, and how he and Cynthia could get it on.
Then I see a furry gray chewbacca like character, running wildly to find Christina. I'm not the chewbacca, I'm just a 3rd person perspective in my dream now. All thoughts, like watching a movie. The chewbacca guy runs to a x-men style school where there are other movie characters - like him. Stopping to look at different characters, by a fountain and near the grass. Then he turns to go up the stairs, and coming down in the opposite direction is the wicked witch of the west. She is so old now, her face wrinkly, she looks like a librarian or something. We round the corner to a see a spider character in a glass case, who I could not help but to irritate. I bat at the glass, shaking it around, the spider tries to spit venom, and it hits the glass, a big gooey black splat. I laugh and shake the glass even more, infuriating it until the spider's eyes bulge.
Now I am standing in the scene, and I see Christina. She's the only normal not-from-a-movie person there. I grab her attention. I am really scared about Christina's pregnancy and am convinced that going to a particular sushi place will ruin her health and create complications in pregnancy. Like she will get food poisoning and it will hurt her. She tells me she will go to Hiromi's instead. "Don't eat the sushi!" I cry.
Shards from last night (or rather early this morning). This dream was very violent. A group of us have these complex machine organism like guns. They remind me of oversized hair dryers. The gun destroys anything with life, and can capture memory on them to learn to kill better in the future. There are rope-like thick metal tubes that branch out from the head of the gun into the middle, pod-like body encasing. There are 4 bunches of these, and they are fed by the energy of the living things we are killing. Unplugging them reveals the memory captures from the different lives, and in fact these metal ropes themselves are alive! Touching them and unplugging them make me uncomfortable.
The guns sizzle, and hiss, but they are not hot to touch, they are becoming more and more alive, awake, aware and evil as we use them. I am with 3 other people. One is a careless macho insensitive white guy, who seems to be taking much pleasure from our ventures. There is also an older minister (priest?) in black garb, big glasses, whose nervous shifting I am not fond of. He ogles at me with his big blue eyes. And the other is a silent woman, who looks to be a million miles away, hurting from some past incident or memory. Her face is always in pain.
We are confused because the guns memory capacities have been filled up, and must have been with junk and we don't understand how. The white guy takes a part one of the guns, and we all have to relive the memories captured by each of the tubes. The white guy grins through most of it, I can see that he is actually counting which marks were his. I am hugely uncomfortable, the anger that was present while I was making the kills is now gone and replaced by a cold and removed feeling. The priest, who is quite tall, is behind me and stuttering, begging us not to look through the guns. We wait until we have finished one of the tubes, and take out duplicate material and move to the next tubes. The next few tubes are not healthy, and they are spitting warning about the priest! They show the priest stalking me, and obsessing over pieces of me, hair, nails, sweat. I am horrified and we all turn towards the priest. He turns into a rage, and starts to attack me, and scraps of photos fall to the ground, with the backs covered with repetitions of my name in blue blurred ink. And more notes on me... I am screaming at the woman next to me to kill him, and finally grab her gun and kill the priest myself.
It's been over a week of non stop vivid lucid dreaming.
Last night's felt very long and intense, perhaps a metaphor for IU. Ka and I were in an office building with some other people too. J, C, R, M were there too. We had come into some kind of alignment about how we would steer IU. C, J, R, M left first to go meet with K. Ka and I used the elevator, and I pressed for the basement. the elevator did not take us to the right floor. I had a sense of urgency and felt that we would not make it in time. The elevator then took us to a lobby with a stairs leading down both ways into a grand lobby. We went out into the sun and walked to K's.
We went upstairs to his place. It was laid out slightly differently. Near the front door were two doors facing each other, K's room and a bathroom. I could hear J in there with K, patiently explaining the technological possibilties that could make K's vision for IU come true. I stood outside for a moment, I could hear the toilet leaking, and the area was dark. I walked towards the kitchen and living area, where C, Ka, M, R were sitting. I leaned against the kitchen counter and looked up. The roof had a hole in it, and it looked like there was some repair going on. There was a big chunk of bricks missing, bits of cement and rope hanging down from it. I had a distinct thought that K must be tired of all the constant repairs.
J and K walk out of the room and join all of us. K laid on the couch and started talking to all of us. After a few moments he complained of feeling tired and started coughing. It seemed that his attention was weakening.
There was a group of people, I think I was in a tour group or something. And we were standing outside black double doors. A guide told us it was the door to God. He said something about not entering because most people could not survive. But I went in.
I opened the door and i was in a corridor. The first floor was wack. I'd have to draw it to really explain it. I could go down a left or right corridor but both lead me back to exactly where I was. So it was like the room had 4 corridors. But 2 of them were exactly the same. The 2 side corridors kept leading to the same place. The one that was the same was where I entered from. The door behind me, a big black double door with brass hinges and knobs, and stairs leading up on the other wall.
I went up the stairs and on this floor there was no gravity in some places. I would walk and all of a sudden I would shoot up. And get stuck near the ceiling in a corner against the wall. I got scared. But I kept moving. At times I was speeding, slowing, floating up, dropping down. I kept going and then I came to another floor.
Here there were these vibrating machine like things and it attached to my head. Don't know how, hazy here... But I remember amazing music playing. And the machine vibrated along my skull and neck in sync with the music. The massage was amazing..
I got stuck on that floor and then I woke up.
Okay, now here it gets even weirder. I told a friend about the dream I had. And I said someone could actually make that machine into a product one day... And he says he's already heard crazy stories from reputable sources that something like that has been made. It's this thing called a "god box!"
I was dreaming that I was getting some work done on my laptop. Something simple. Like open up Opera and check my mail. I carried my laptop to a new place because I wasn't getting any service in my room. As soon as my wireless card detected a network something went nuts.
The laptop started downloading everything it could off the network. The 8 GB hard drive filled up in less than a minute right in front my eyes and I couldn't do anything to stop it. And since the hard drive was so full there wasn't enough memory for any of the programs to function. I was stuck. The laptop wouldn't shut down, it wouldn't start up without struggling and I couldn't think of a way to erase all the garbage that was ruining my laptop.
I feel like the laptop in the dream represents my state of mind right now. Still drained of all energy and memory.
Just had a very strange funny dream.
In the dream I was mad tight with JLo and basically chilling with her for the day. Weeeird! I don't like JLo and barely listen to her music! But the way she was acting with me in dream... word that comes to mind: comfortable.
Last night the whole gang came over to my place, since my parents are in Hawaii. Pretty good night! I talk way too much but I'm also deprived all day since I work at a Chinese office. I didn't really feel like it, but we played scrabble. I get too competitive with that game... I won, again.