Pashmina Lalchandani (pashmina) wrote,
Pashmina Lalchandani

Lots of things are running through my head right now. I don't know how to explain what I'm feeling but it's not very pleasant. Something is wrong. Something is happening somewhere and there are warning signals going off in my head. Beware... watch out, things are not as the seem.

Am I happy? I don't know. In a way, I am... I'm very happy, things are going really well for me, and I project happiness (well at least I think I do) when I'm around others. Yet there is this... thing pricking at my conscious. It's what keeps me awake in the middle of the night, it distracts me when I'm working, and it's always there in the back of my mind, even when I'm happy. So what do I do? Why am I feeling this? How do I get RID of it, that's my main question?

What is it that I am perceiving silently inside? What is it about? Who is it about? Will I find out soon? Or will I find out too late? It's so frustrating to deal with this. I'll admit there are certain people who concern me deeply - but for different reasons. This feeling that I'm getting, probably has to do with one of them. There is one person, who seems unrealistically happy right now. Is there such a thing as being TOO happy? I don't know... I mean, I'm glad, I'm overjoyed that this person is happy, but something doesn't feel quite right. I can't put my finger on it and I wish I could. Does it show on my face when this person asks me for my thoughts? I hope not. At the same time, I don't want to hide what I'm feeling. It's such a dilemna.... do I tell the person what I'm really feeling, possibly ruining their happiness, or do I stay quiet and hope for the best? Hope for the best? Damn it. I've never been wrong with things like this! That hope, is a small, tiny fraction.

What the hell do I do?
Tags: intuition

  • ten Bollywood movies to watch instead of Slumdog Millionaire

    About a year back Slumdog Millionaire came out to much fanfare and hype. I'd bristle every time someone told me they'd watched their first…

  • how am I not myself?

    For those who haven't seen it yet, the movie I Heart Huckabees is pure genius. It's bold, witty and all eccentric eceletic like but not without some…

  • brutal...

    I watched Dancer in the Dark last night. At first, I was irritated by the bland colors and the raw, choppiness of the cinematography. The off-focus…

  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded