Where are you? Where do you want to be? Are you clear about what you want? If not, get clear. How do you get there? What do you need to shift? The coach: You and I are partners, and how do we close this gap towards the future?
A coach says, "When I'm talking to a client, I take notes. Either if it sounds relevant to me, or I think it's relevant to them. A lot of times based on their language alone, helping them observe that is powerful. Helping people notice things."
Coaching is forward looking, and psychotherapy is looking at the past. (generally speaking)
Some old thoughts (addressed to a coach):
In your careful balancing of challenge/support, is this entirely your intuitve process, or is it augmented by some setup designed process? And if there isn't, have you thought about designing a process to stimulate, and nurture growth in participatory groups the way you do with people in private? Like I'm wondering how does this play out in culture? In the public or social sphere? Getting support, practice, and challenge as individuals does not necessarily help the maturity of the culture or organization.
The map is not the territory. So we desperately need some good navigators! You help others with navigating the terrain. You steer or help align people to their natural course for healthy development (Kegan has some stuff on this). Ken's work, and most of the stuff that I'm aware of of, is a frozen static representation of development, a snap shot at every altitude, and horizon. This map is useful only up to a certain point. It's only the preliminary work, and it's just the beginning. What you're doing on the other hand, is seeing and exploring the spaces, the gaps, the edges between the stages.