Pashmina Lalchandani (pashmina) wrote,
Pashmina Lalchandani

just now...

just awoke.. this dream is fresh,

Linear and non-linear dynamics of contributions can be enabled with the combo of blogs/rss and wikis. depth AND span for either the collective or the individual. Movement comes through a combination of two bell curve-like axis, that intersect to form not only quarants, but focused intense depth in the center, and less depth as it spans out.

I am in a meeting for ops. It is total chaos.. everyone is having their own conversations. Eric interrupts the flow to tell Meagen a joke. I try to pull the group back together, but no one is paying attention, until I start yelling. Ops should be taken with more seriousness, how are we going to get anything done? I am craving sugar cane juice. I get coconut juice instead. It tastes like the milk of coconut from China. Eric says no drinking during the meetings either. I find that to be a tad ridiculous and walk out in a huff. Rollie follows me out, trying to quell my anger.

My focus shifts, I am intent on burning myself. I must light a fire to my entire body and let it burn. I am two but not two, and there is my body and the doer. I lay myself down on the floor on some towels. And I cut my legs off, right above the knees. Thankfully I cannot see my face through out the dream. I feel detached in my actions, cool, calm collected, there is no hesitation, no thought, no sense of it being anything other than routine or usual practice.

My cut off self is completely nude on the floor, and other than my body, the room is empty. The windows are 16th century Indian like, with holes in white painted cement. I look at my body in a way that is novel to me, admiring the shape of the breasts and the curve of my sides. I light the body on fire, and the skin and flesh catch. The sound of burning flesh is loud, and the smell is worse. I try to open the windows as much as I can. The thighs of the body start to tremble, and I move to realign them. Pink and clear fluids ooze out from the areas where I cut the body, and I clean it up as the body is burning. I throw the fluid soaked tissues out the window, in a neighbor's yard. I watch the body burning, it is taking some time. I am meticulous about the ritual of my self immolation. I am thinking, where will I put my own ashes?

Before I awake, my intense watching of my own body burning is interrupted by a neighbor outside who reprimands me for throwing trash, namely my own fluid soaked tissues, out the window. I peek through the holes to see who it is, and realize I am in India in Khar.
Tags: body, burning, dreams, immolation

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