Pashmina Lalchandani (pashmina) wrote,
Pashmina Lalchandani

6 days… since HE started appearing in my dreams. This is incredibly weird. I feel like my dreams have come out of some Freudian/Jungian crap. Now I can finish that sentence from days ago. It will give him a chance to be in the presence of God one last time. To see him, to feel him, and get back some sort of compassion. A chance to force God to stop ignoring him and remember… This concept that has been sitting in my head is really disturbing me. I had the longest conversation with the devil and it was all about him, his past. The devil is God’s lover. I just have to repeat this… the devil is God’s lover! Before man, there was God and then there were the angels. They lived milleniums together with nothing else… the devil was an archangel (follows the Bible). God loved him very much and the devil had nothing but unconditional love for God. Then God created man, and the angels became ‘second’ to Him. He was obsessed with man and his other creations. The devil dared to question God. Why? Why do you love man more than us? How can you put aside this eternal bond of love for this creature? He was jealous, very jealous of man. God wanted the angels to love man as He did. But the devil could not do that. He lashed out. He wanted to show God that man did not love Him as much as he did. So he tricked man into disobeying. God became angry, so angry that he cast his once beautiful archangel out of His sight. With him went a third of the angels who agreed with what the devil said. No one created hell. The devil only made up a word for the feeling. The absence of God, and the absence of His love, was hell. The devil and the legions vowed to dedicate their lives into making man’s life on earth a living hell. (Literally, the absence of God.) One day, God will have no choice but to defeat the devil, He must confront him. And in a way, the devil will win too, because he gets to be in the presence of God, even if it may be for a few moments. Maybe that’s why God hasn’t put an end to this, because He’s stubborn and doesn’t want to give in to the devil’s last wish. This is so complicated…

So there you have it. The devil, the fallen angel, morning star… Hmm, morning star. =) Where are you? Watching me… all those white butterflies everywhere, how did that happen? Everywhere…anywhere… everyday. It was a phenomenon. My dear morning star… When you asked me, “will you love me as long as I live?” and I responded with, ”no, I will love you as long as I live.” I meant it… Oh… I’m going to stop now.

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