Pashmina Lalchandani (pashmina) wrote,
Pashmina Lalchandani
pashmina

  • Mood:

I cannot remember

I'm knackered. Shattered. Exhausted. Unbelievably tired physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

I shouldn't get into it now because I'm mad sleepy and must get up early tomorrow. But I feel like my brain is literally expanding and pushing against my skull. I haven't had a moment since Friday where my head hasn't been throbbing. My thoughts are so jumbled and incoherent that I feel like there's at least three versions of "me" talking in my mind at the same time. Like different levels of consciousness fighting one another or rather, bantering, baiting and battling it out.

I cannot remember a time when I have thought and questioned so much.

I hate my ego. I hate knowing that it is my ego that is self relflective and contemplating itself.

Okay bed. Before I go crazy getting lost trying to reason through the most difficult questions I've asked myself. Ever. Tonight is one night I wish for a dreamless sleep.
Tags: ego, me, mind
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